Making Sense of It All

**Sit quietly, eyes closed and in silence for one minute before reading.**

    So many times I want to ask God, “What in the world is going on?” I read stories in Scripture and I am led to ask God, “What the (fill in expletive)? I see stories pop up on my newsfeed, in the news. I live the stories with friends, family and personally. I can make no sense out of what is happening. No logic is good enough and no reasons make it worthy. There is no sense to be made.

    I want to make sense of it all because for some reason I believe answers will satisfy. If only I could know why then everything would be okay. But that’s the thing, even if we knew why I do not think that pain, suffering and death would be okay. Even if I knew the specifics of full redemption coming in ALL things, would I be okay with sin, destruction and evil. These things are not okay and there is no “sense” that will satisfy.

    So I am left to trust. I am left to trust God our merciful and just Father, Jesus who suffered, died and was resurrected and the Holy Spirit who is far more powerful than I give any credit for. This trust is not based on answers but on relationship. Trust is based on relationship with God and as my relationship grows my trust grows.

    How will you trust God when nothing makes sense? How can you grow in relationship with Him?

**Sit again in silence for as long as is available to you.**

Head and Hands

**Sit quietly in silence, eyes closed for one minute before reading.**

    2012 was brutal. I’ll spare you the details but it was a year of pain, tears, wrestling and sadness. It was a year of many questions, wondering where I belonged and struggling to trust and hope. It was a year in which God was repeating:

“Just because you have it in your head does not mean it happens through your hands.”
“Just because you have it in your head does not mean it happens through your hands.”

    My children were daily reminders that I did not always do with my hands what I said I knew in my head. Years of working in a church and going to seminary filled my head with information yet my daily response to struggles reminded me that there was disconnect between what I knew and what I did. My knowledge and my actions did not match up in so many ways.
    So the path that God has you on may be this path. He may be demanding that your actions match what is in your head. It is not an easy path and one in which you do not walk alone.
    My prayer for us is this: “God, give us patience and grace with ourselves as we seek to travel the path from our head to our hands. Thank you that you are growing us to be whole and not fragmented, assuring that our head, our heart and our hands align. Amen.”

**Sit again in silence for as long as is available to you.**