The Oxymoron of Joy

**Please take one minute to sit, breathe deeply and seek quiet.**

    Sometimes life seems anything but joyful. It is difficult to find joy in the midst of loss, pain and anxiety. It is difficult to find joy in the midst of hardship and heartache because these things in and of themselves do not contain joy. They contain confusion, chaos and suffering. Joy is very difficult to find because it is not there. But Jesus is. Jesus is with us in the confusion, the chaos, the suffering.

    Joy may be difficult to find but Jesus is there. Jesus is our joy and he is with us. He is with us in the suffering, in the loss, in the “I can’t breathe because this is so painful” moments. There can be joy because we have Jesus. He is the only reason that there can be joy in the midst of evil, pain and suffering.

    We live life as an oxymoron of joy and pain, Jesus and suffering. He lived life as an oxymoron and we rest in the tension because we know the joy that is relationship with Jesus.

**Please take as much time as is possible to sit and reflect.**

 

When Healing Hurts

**Sit quietly, eyes closed and in silence for one minute before reading.**

    Sometimes healing doesn't feel like healing. Sometimes it feels like things are getting worse.

    Sometimes God needs to go deeper and when He does it hurts.

    Sometimes He needs to make adjustments, set things straight and re-align. That is painful.

    Sometimes he makes us wait. There seems to be no progress in the waiting yet it is all part of healing.

    Is He healing something in you today that doesn't feel or look like healing? How can you trust His great love and sovereignty as He heals?

**Continue to sit in silence for as long as is available to you.**

Hidden Hurts

**Sit quietly, eyes closed and in silence for one minute before reading.**
 
    Why our culture is one that runs to isolation when hurt, I don’t know. I know I run.

    We are a culture that puts on a mask and pulls back, pretending we are okay when inside we are deeply wounded. My prayer is that we would become people that share our wounds, our hurts. That we would not be afraid to “go there” wherever “there” is. That we would not be afraid of our own tears, pains and fears and we would not be afraid of another’s.

    May God help us to meet others in their hidden hurts. May the Spirit move us to see, hear and love those who hurt in silence and in shadows.

**Sit quietly again in silence for as long as is available to you.**

Healing and Forgiveness

**Sit quietly, eyes closed and in silence for one minute before reading.**
 
    I never realized that feeling hurt would lead me to confession which would in turn lead me to receiving forgiveness from God.

    A few months ago I saw someone I knew and instantly felt hurt. I did not know what because I could not think of exactly what he had done so I decided to talk to Jesus about it.

    The following day while on a run, I talked to Jesus. In my prayer I asked God to help me figure out why I was hurting – had this person done something or was I playing a victim?

    In prayer God revealed my heart – I was blaming this person for an expectation I had of God. I was using him as a scapegoat when in reality I was upset with God. I was upset with God because something didn’t go my way, and God did not do anything to help it go my way. It was all about me – my way!

    This led to confession, which led to receiving God’s forgiveness, which led to healing. The hurt was no longer there towards this man or towards God.

    Recently, this was part of a prayer of confession at my church. It connected the dots and maybe it will connect some dots for you and God will heal your pain as He forgives your sin.

    “Hear the cries of our hearts, O God, and heal our pain as you forgive our sin; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.” 

**Sit quietly again in silence for as long as is available to you.**

The Gift of Pain

**Sit quietly, eyes closed and in silence for one minute before reading.**

    Sounds like an oxymoron, I know. I do not love pain and I do not often find myself pursuing it. I think most of us avoid pain, afraid of what it means, afraid of what it does to us and often unsure of what to do about it. It seems as if we really just want to avoid pain or pretend it does not exist.

    In and of itself pain is not good. Do not translate its potential as a gift meaning that it is good. Pain, though, can be a vital indicator … an indicator of the need for healing. If there is physically something wrong with us I want pain at the earliest point possible so I can start treatment for healing.

    In our spiritual lives the presence of pain can be a gift because it shows us our need for healing. (Notice the word can.) It shows us our need for great God. It shows us how much we need Jesus and the comfort of the Holy Spirit. It is difficult, no doubt, especially when the pain is extended and even chronic.

    No, pain is not good yet it can serve as an indicator and reminder that this world is not as it should be. It reminds us that we need healing and that we need a Savior in EVERY aspect of our lives and of those around us.

    Is there something painful in life now? Could this pain be a gift that leads to healing? How will you lean into God and trust His healing in His time?

    Prayers for you in your pain, in your hurt and in healing.

**Sit in silence again for as long as is available to you.**

My Heart Hurts

**Sit quietly, eyes closed and in silence for one minute before reading.**

    My heart hurts for the parent who is unsure whether his/her baby will survive the next 24 hours. My heart hurts for the one who has watched their child self-inflict painful gashes on their forearms. My heart hurts for the parent who has desperately prayed for their child and watches that child walk towards pain and destruction. My heart hurts for parents whose children have lost hope in anything good.

    My heart hurts and so does God’s. God is not unfamiliar with pain, mockery, betrayal, children who self-inflict, who have lost hope. God is not unfamiliar with the parent who is desperate for their child to be healed, restored and redeemed.

    God is not unfamiliar with the parent’s desperate heart that so loves their child and would do anything for him/her. God is not unfamiliar and He is not far.

    Grace upon grace to you if you are a parent in pain for their child.

**Sit again for as long as is available to you.**

The Quest Costs

**Sit quietly, eyes closed, in silence for one minute before reading.**

“Their quest had been worth all the pains it cost.” Jill from The Silver Chair, The Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis

    No one can avoid pain. No one will go through life without hurt. We all have been hurt, are hurt and will hurt. Pain is costly and can be brutal, wounding us deeply and challenging us to the end of ourselves.

    Upon finishing The Silver Chair in The Chronicles of Narnia series the line quoted above resonated in my heart. The quest to find the Prince had its pains, both physical and emotional. The quest was not faultless and actually had more errors than not. There were many unknowns in the quest. Yet at the end of the quest, Jill sees the people and animals of Narnia celebrating the Prince found and returned and thinks to herself their quest had been worth all the pains it cost.

    My prayer is that you would find encouragement in the quest. Our quest to follow Jesus, to become more and more like Him and live out the life He has called us to live is a grand quest guaranteed to be filled with pain. As you and I follow Him, may we be reminded that at the end of our quest, it will have been worth all the pains it cost.

**Sit in silence again for as long as is available to you.**

Love is Risky

**Please take one minute to sit, breathe deeply and seek quiet.**

    We tend to be people that calculate. What is worth what, how much should we pay for this or that, how much time should we spend with a person, money spent, energies, etc. Calculating is okay but often our calculating trickles down to other areas in which it shouldn’t, including love.
    To love means we open ourselves up to the possibility of loss, to pain, to hurt and suffering. To love means we take a risk, because love does not function in addition, subtraction, multiplication or division. Love does not fit into numbers or measurements. It is wide, it is deep, it is long, it is high. The dimensions of love cannot be calculated.
    Yet it feels safe to calculate, to control. Yes, love is risky so we calculate it. We calculate how much we can give without getting hurt or least hurt. We hold back in fear of losing something or someone. We do not always calculate love but sometimes we do. This human response to self-protect is understandable. I want to prevent pain.
    Love is risky, yes. It means letting go of my deep, legitimate desire to prevent pain. It means considering that love is greater, deeper and richer than pain. Love is worth it and love does win.

**Please take as much time as is possible to sit and reflect.**

He Never Lets Go

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

God never lets go. Through the calm in life, when challenges are minimal and life is relatively peaceful, God is holding onto you. Through the chaos of life, when challenges are unending and life seems to show no sign of peace, God is holding onto you. God never lets go – through calm or chaos, peace or unrest.

What season are you in? Are you in a time of calm and rest? If so, remember God is holding onto you and you can enjoy His presence. Imagine walking hand in hand with your child, enjoying the day together. Are you in a time of chaos and unrest? If so, remember that God is also holding onto you and you may or may not sense His presence, but He is with you. Imagine walking your child across a busy street, hand in hand, guiding and helping him/her navigate through chaos of cars and stressors. The same hand that walks you through joys walks you through pain. The same hand that walks you through calm walks you through chaos. He never lets go.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.** 

Does Fear Lead?

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

How does fear lead you? Maybe you fear being yourself. Maybe you fear making the wrong decision. You might fear being hurt or abandoned. You might fear losing someone or fear pain. Maybe you fear simpler things. We all fear and for some of us our fears lead. We often cannot name these fears, especially the deeper ones. Spend some time in prayer throughout the day, anytime you have opportunity and ask God to reveal your fears to you. Talk to Him, be honest and allow Him to help you trust Him rather than let fear lead.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**