Defending Your Worth

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    Defending your worth. I often find myself making statements that defend my worth. Someone makes a comment and I respond with a statement that is a defense for why I am worth listening to. Someone misunderstands me and it drives me crazy when I cannot make it right. We defend why we made a decision or defend why we received something or have been given an opportunity or a compliment.
    At the core of feeling like we have to defend our worth is the fact that we are judging ourselves on a faulty scale. We are judging ourselves based on what people say rather than what God says. What people say is that we are worthy according to our function, what we can do and how close to "perfect" we can get. What God says is we are worthy because of who we are - His child. We are His children because of His gracious love and what we can do is based on grace.
    The truth is, all of life is grace. We can work hard for things, but our worth is not dependent on our work, our worth is based on grace. Life is grace, what we have been given is grace, gifts to us. We are loved by God - this is true worth.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Live "Here"

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**
    I love daydreaming, imagining, making up the future. I love visioning, goal setting and planning. I spend a lot of mental energy in the future playing out the unknown, imagining and dreaming, solving problems, raising anxieties. I play out these imaginary scenarios yet these scenarios often do not come to existence. Life almost never plays out in my head like I think it will. Everything is different and there are choices that I would have never thought of. I spend a lot of mental energy “there” rather than “here”. In a sense I am living “there” rather than “here”. All that mental energy was spent in a future than never came about rather than a present that is real.
    Dreaming, planning, wisdom are all good things yet we do not live “there”, we live “here”. When we spend more time living “there” rather than “here” we miss people, words, moments and we miss God. When we spend more time living “there” rather than “here” we also raise anxieties, worries and issues that do not exist and may not ever.
    Where do you spend your mental energy? Do you live “here” or do you live “there”? If “there”, what can you do to live more “here”?

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Character Required

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    Character Required. Nothing has required more of my character than being a mom. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of other things that require character. For me being a mom has required the most. The little everyday puzzles, drama and decisions. The constant need to be needed and lack of down time. The accumulation of the demands on our bodies, our hearts and our minds adds up to a great and consistent test of our characters. We are weary, without any reserves left and the greatest is being demanded of us.
    What in your life requires the most of your character? What relentless person, people or situations continue to make demands on you?
    All the more reason to sit with God and listen. Talk to Him, listen to Him and receive from Him.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Storing Up Love

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    The greatest good to store up is love. The greatest example of love is God. He is love and demonstrates His great love to us through the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus. Storing up love begins with soaking in the richness of God’s love for us and towards us. It continues as we see how He loves others. We then can choose to love Him and love others. Storing up love requires we believe God’s love for us. Again, the discipline of reading, remembering and responding applies to storing up love. To store up love we read the greatest love story written (the Bible), we remember His love towards us and others and we respond through loving Him and others.
    There are many enemies of love and one great enemy is entitlement. When we behave out of a sense of entitlement rather than love we automatically place another below us and consider ourselves better and better deserving than him or her. Entitlement assumes superiority to another and is the anti-thesis to the example of love that God gives us.
    I struggle with a sense of entitlement to the point I make demands that are quite selfish. I assume that my preferences are more important than another’s and I deserve certain things. Everything in life is a gift but unfortunately I live as though these gifts are expectations.
    How can you choose to store up love? Will you store up love through reading about God’s love and remembering His loving actions towards you and others? How will you check your sense of entitlement against God’s self-sacrificial love? Ask God to transform and do a work in you today and in the days to come. You are not perfect and God does not expect you to be. Ask Him to work in and through you.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Storing Up Peace

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    To be at peace is incredibly restful. You can take a deep breath when you are at peace. You can inhale and exhale and your soul feels settled. Being at peace is also a gift as is joy. Storing up peace requires the receiving of peace as well as the cultivation of it. Cultivating peace does not necessarily mean the absence of conflict, difficulty and unknowns. True peace often comes in the midst of conflict, difficulty and unknowns. To cultivate peace we seek and trust God’s perspective, His direction and trust that He is near.
    To store up peace we must choose to forgive. Unforgiveness hinders peace and hinders your soul from being at rest. Unforgiveness is like a cancer, infecting everything it touches. Unforgiveness does not give room for peace.
    Is there someone you need to forgive? Maybe a friend, family member or co-worker? Maybe there is something you need to forgive yourself for?
    To begin cultivating and storing peace, begin with forgiveness. This is how God made His peace with us – forgiveness. Do not forget to ask for it as well.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Storing Up Joy

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    Joy is a gift. To receive joy as a gift means that it is given to you, you do nothing for it other than ask for it receive it. God gives us the gift of joy.
    Joy is also a choice. To choose joy means that whatever your circumstances, you choose the posture of joy. One great way to do this is through thankfulness. To choose thankfulness leads to joy.
    What can steal our joy? What strips us of the gift? One great culprit is comparison. Comparing ourselves to another and cultivating the breeding grounds for bitterness and envy makes it pretty difficult to choose joy and even to receive it. Comparing our bodies, comparing our families, our homes, our spiritual lives, our cooking, our income, our gifts, … you get the picture. Comparison steals our joy and we have a choice whether to indulge comparison or not.
    How can you store up joy? What are you thankful for? How will you choose joy rather than comparison today? Do not forget to ask God for it as well. It is both a choice and a gift.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Storing Up Hope

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    Hope begins with faith in God and the belief that He is both good and sovereign (i.e. in control). Hope is based in the character of God, that He is love. It is seen in His faithfulness, in His generosity, in His sacrifice, in His mercy. We store up hope by trusting that God is who He says He is (He is love) and by trusting that He is in control.
    Our hope begins to wane as we worry, as we look into the future and see no way out, as we experience pain and loss. Our hope is attacked by the reality that life can be difficult, injustices exist and we see more evil that good, more hate than love. 
    So how do we store up hope? How do we replace worry and anxiety with hope? We read, we remember and we respond. We read stories of God’s goodness and sovereignty in the Bible. We remember His good and sovereign acts. We respond by choosing to believe these things.
    What stories have you read and can you read? What can you remember? Choose to respond in belief. If you’re struggling, talk to God, talk to a friend. It’s okay, but do not give up trying to store up hope.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Storing Up Good

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    Storing up good. The things that come out of our mouths are a reflection and overflow of the things that are stored up in our hearts. If bitterness, anger and jealousy are stored up in our hearts then our words will be flavored with these things. If good things such as hope, joy, peace and love are stored up in our hearts then our words will be flavored with these things.
    This week I want us to consider “storing up” good things in our hearts. As we consider storing up good, we’ll also consider what is taking residence in our hearts instead of good.
    Spend some time in prayer today. Ask God to help you see His goodness. When you see His goodness, store it in your heart, thank Him for it and look for more signs of His goodness. It’s all around.

Have more than two minutes? Read and meditate on Luke 6:43-45.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Adventure

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**
    When is the last time you went an adventure? When is the last time you embarked on a journey and did not know where it would lead? Was it easy for you or did you struggle to know how it would turn out, where you'd be going, the ETA at each mile marker?
    I am a planner. I like knowing where I am going, beating the time I think it will take me to get there and plotting out the course. I find fulfillment in accomplishment! There is nothing necessarily wrong with this but often I miss opportunities for adventure.  I miss opportunties to embark on the wonder, surprise and joy of an adventure.
    Adventures require freedom and often the most difficult freedom is freedom we give ourselves to even go. Do you give yourself freedom for adventure? Do you give God freedom to lead you on a journey full of wonder, joy and surprises or do you have the mile markers mapped out for Him?

PS God doesn't really follow our mile markers. ;)

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Picking Battles

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    Picking my battles. I do not always know how to pick my battles. Which one is worth it? Which one is a priority? Which ones do I need to let go of and trust God with?
For those of us who are natural wrestlers, picking our battles is not easy. We can easily we ourselves out fighting them all. We can even wear ourselves out trying to figure out which ones to fight!

    We become easily overwhelmed when we are fighting too many battles.
Do you know how to pick your battles? Do you know when to let go and trust God?
I'm still figuring it out and have a feeling this will be a lifelong lesson.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

The Blindness of Anger

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    You've heard it said love makes you blind. So can anger. Anger can make you blind. It can make you blind to hope, to possibilities, to redemption and resurrection. Anger can make you blind to transformation. Anger makes you blind to goodness and to peace. It makes you blind to joy and gentleness. It blinds you to the opportunity to forgive. It blinds you to the opportunity for healing. Anger consumes so that all you see is anger and its close companion, bitterness.
    Anger can be a good thing. It can reveal something that is wrong, unhealthy or something that needs to change. Anger can lead to justice and freedom.
    Anger can also be blinding. It can blind to that which is good. Does anger play an unhealthy role in your life? If so, how has it blinded you? Spend some time in prayer, asking God to show you if anger has blinded you.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Pull Yourself Together

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    Who can you pour your heart out to? When is the last time you poured your heart out? Do you stop yourself, telling yourself to pull yourself together? There is probably a fine line between a healthy grief and unhealthy grief. What I have found is that many of us do not even let ourselves grieve and part of grieving is being able to pour our hearts out. We think that for some reason our emotions must be restrained and controlled. We need to pull ourselves together.
    Reading a few lament Psalms encourages me because God wants to hear our hearts. He wants us to pour our hearts out to Him. Can you pour your heart out to God? Do you allow others to pour their hearts out to you? Slow down and pour out. Let God pull you together in His time. You might be messy for a while.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Have more than two minutes? Read Psalm 62 and consider verse 8 in particular.

Responsibility

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    God's responsibility and our responsibility. Often I confuse the two and find myself taking on responsibilities that God never asked me to take on.
    I take on a burden that was never meant for me to carry. I see a need and assume that I am the one to take it on and it becomes a burden. We call it responsibility and make it sound like we're doing something noble and really we are just taking over something we were never asked to. Allowing God to carry the burden requires that I trust him and that I believe he can do the job.
    It seems that when I take on a responsibility that isn't mine to take I'm essentially saying, 'You don't know what you're doing' or 'I could do this better than you'. Yep, that's what I'm saying to the God of the universe. Again, my mind and heart could use some reforming, don't you think?
    Do you take on a responsibility God never asked you to?

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

 

Do Something, Anything!

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

   Sometimes I wish God would take action. Say anything. Do anything. His silence and lack of action makes me feel like He doesn't care. His lack of movement means apathy. Is He asleep on the job?
    To me caring is equated to movement. If you care you do something. This is not necessarily a true or healthy equation. Often lack of movement or even waiting to move is the exact expression of care that is necessary. When someone is grieving, silence is often best. When someone is processing through something, movement hinders that time of processing. When something is healing, often inactivity is necessary and is the best form of care.
    This is a struggle for me, a person who loves movement and action and expects that these things are the best in any scenario. It is just not true. Caring does not require movement, often it requires the lack of it.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Have more than two minutes? Read Mark 4:38. How would you have responded to Jesus' seeming lack of caring?

Our Hearts

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

  What is my heart wrapped around? What is your heart wrapped around? What will your heart not let go of? These were the questions that God prompted in me recently as I had some time alone driving. These questions led me to tears and to a prayer. This was my prayer for myself and is for all of you.

  God, help us see and to be able to let go of that which we hold onto so tightly. You know us. Search us and show us. As You dig deep and show us be gentle and gracious to us. Help us to trust you in all things and to wrap our hearts around You. May we allow you to “fix things”. Amen.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Internal Scoreboard

I'm changing it up a bit today. Here's a quote from one of my favorite author's and theologians.

“When we start by being too impressed by the results of our work, we slowly come to the erroneous conviction that life is one large scoreboard where someone is listing the points to measure our worth.  And before we are fully aware of it, we have sold our soul to the many grade-givers.  That means we are not only in the world, but also of the world.  Then we become what the world makes us.  We are intelligent because someone gives us a high grade.  We are helpful because someone says thanks.  We are likable because someone likes us.  And we are important because someone considers us indispensable. In short, we are worthwhile because we have successes.  When we cling to the results of our actions as our only way of self-identification, then we become possessive and defensive and tend to look at our fellow human beings more as enemies to be kept at a distance than as friends with whom we share the gifts of life.”  Henri Nouwen, Show Me the Way.

Do you keep an internal scoreboard, giving yourself points and measuring your worth? If so, how does this effect your relationships?

**Sit quietly for as much time as is available to you.**

Pursuit

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

What an encouragement when someone pursues us! They might pursue us for friendship, for help, to encourage us. How refreshing when they do! Many of us spend much of our time in pursuit. We are pursuing knowledge, pursuing relationship, pursuing order, pursuing rest. When someone else pursues us it reminds us that we are valuable and we are loved. The greatest One that pursued us and continues to pursue us is God. Grateful for His continuous pursuit of us!

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

The Camera Shot

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    Assumptions. We make them all the time. One great assumption we make is that if we cannot see something then it is not there. I think of how many times I am behind the video camera shooting a video of my kids or my kids with another person. I wonder if later on in life my kids will look at those videos and wonder why their mom is not in them. I am afraid they will think that I am not there and was not involved in their lives when in fact I am very present and very involved, I just did not get myself on video.
    Sometimes I wonder if that is how I see God – I do not see him in the camera shot and wonder if He’s there. Just like my kids, I have a limited view and cannot see everyone who is in the room. There is more to the room than what the camera is catching. We think that we can see it all, everything and everyone in the room but there is more to life than what we can see. If we limit our faith and hope to our sight then we can be led to wonder if God is actually there when in fact He has been there all along.
    Can you see beyond the camera shot?

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Speak Blessing

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

Each day we have opportunity to speak blessing into another's life. A word that lifts up, that remembers, that affirms and gives courage. With our words we have great opportunity to bless.
The gift of words. How will you speak blessing to another today?
**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Have more than two minutes? Pray for the increased ability to hear opportunities to bless another with your words.

Compassion

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

Compassion. I am reminded about how little I understand compassion when I am trying to explain to my three year old why a man is homeless and asking for money. I am reminded about how little I demonstrate compassion in these moments as well. Compassion can be so many things and can look so different but in the end it is a simple (not always easy) call of God. How is God calling you to live compassionately?

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Have more than two minutes? Spend some time in prayer, asking God to open your eyes to how He is calling you to live compassionately.

 

Walk Forward

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    Swinging. We often find ourselves on the pendulum swing of narcissism (thinking we have everything to offer) and nihilism (thinking we have nothing significant to offer). This pendelum swing is often the result of comparing ourselves to others. We want to be ourselves yet we have been told in subtle and not so subtle ways that how we’re created isn’t enough. We’ve been told in direct and indirect ways that something is wrong with us or that maybe we’d be better off if we were more like “her” (whoever “her” is). Sometimes we make ourselves feel better by comparing ourselves to someone we think we are "better than". We swing back and forth, back and forth. Tired of swinging?
    What if our focus was on God, the freedom he brings, the creativity in which he made us and seeking to live that out? What if our focus was on relationship with God, who made us uniquely and for His purposes?  Focusing on God slows down the swing. It slows down the swing and allows us to move forward. How can you focus on God and walk forward rather than swing?

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Have more than two minutes? Read and meditate on the truth of Psalm 139.

Hope Holders

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    There are times in our lives where it's nearly impossible to have hope. A relationship is in shambles, we see no way out of a situation, we do not know how we can go on from a loss or hurt, we cannot imagine how life can be different. We struggle to hold onto hope.
In these times we need hope holders - those who will hold onto hope for us until we can. To have a community that can we can lean on and a community that is leaning on God with us and for us.
    You might be in a place where you need someone to hold onto hope for you. God may be calling you to hold onto hope for another. We all need and can be hope holders for one another, encouraging and giving strength to others. We need hope holders. We need to be hope holders.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Have more than two minutes? Read the story of a hope holder found in Acts 27:14-44.

Personal Response

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

    Personal Response. God is a personal God, responding to us exactly how we need it in the moment. He meets us in our tears, He meets us in our joy, He meets us in our questions. He responds to us how we need Him in the moment.
    In the story of Mary, Martha and the death of their brother Lazarus Jesus responds to both women differently. Both run to Jesus and make the same statement of reality - if Jesus had been there their brother would not have died. In her personal interaction with Jesus Martha makes a statement of belief and Jesus responds to her with a dialogue. He doesn’t question Martha and why she isn’t crying. In Mary's personal interaction with Jesus she is weeping and Jesus joins her in her tears. He doesn’t question Mary and why she is crying.
     Can you recall a time that God has personally met you exactly how you needed it? How can you respond to others how they need it?

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Have more than two minutes? Read the story mentioned above in John 11:1-35

 

Soul Rest

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

Soul rest. Where does your soul find rest? Does it find rest? What does that even look like? Sometimes I am moving so fast that I can feel the frenzy in my body, my mind and my soul. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by questions I cannot answer and a future I am unsure of. Sometimes I am avoiding God by not letting myself rest and letting my soul rest in Him. Soul rest requires release and it requires trust. How are you with soul rest? How can you release and rest in God?

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**

Have more than two minutes? Read and consider the words in Psalm 62.

Mommy Identities

**Before you begin reading, sit down, breathe normally and be quiet for 1 minute.**

Many have us have worked so hard forming our identities. Career identities, marital identities, individual identities. Our identities are constantly forming. Many times our identities form most solidly when we feel like we're in a pressure cooker. These are the times when God is forging who we are. These times of forging are painful, frustrating and sometimes not all that pretty. Transitioning from being a full time working mom to being a full time stay at home mom has been a bit rocky. This transition has been my pressure cooker of identity formation. God uses various times to form us not just in our identities as Moms but as His daughters. He ultimately is forming our identities to become more like Christ's. May God grant you peace, patience and trust during these trying yet crucial times of identity formation.

**Sit quietly again for as much time as is available to you.**