I spend so much energy trying
to prove myself. Prove that I am worth talking to, prove that I am good at
something, prove that I deserve something. I want to prove myself worthy. I am
worth your time, I am worth your energy, I am worth something.
And so I do it with God. It is a lot more subtle than my relationship with people, but I do it with God too. I spend time and energy to prove I am worth loving, that I am worth having certain things. I perform for His approval yet His approval is in NO WAY dependent on my performance. God’s love and approval is not dependent on ANYTHING that I say, do or am. I’ve got nothing to contribute, nothing.
This is freeing and scary. We do not get grace. His grace does not require anything and that is just weird to us … a foreign concept … it is strange … it is the exact opposite of how I work, yet it is how HE works. He works radically different than we do and is continually drawing us into His grace.
How do you fight grace? How do you try to prove yourself worthy?
And so I do it with God. It is a lot more subtle than my relationship with people, but I do it with God too. I spend time and energy to prove I am worth loving, that I am worth having certain things. I perform for His approval yet His approval is in NO WAY dependent on my performance. God’s love and approval is not dependent on ANYTHING that I say, do or am. I’ve got nothing to contribute, nothing.
This is freeing and scary. We do not get grace. His grace does not require anything and that is just weird to us … a foreign concept … it is strange … it is the exact opposite of how I work, yet it is how HE works. He works radically different than we do and is continually drawing us into His grace.
How do you fight grace? How do you try to prove yourself worthy?
**Sit again in silence for as long as is available to you.**
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